The wonderful World of Food Poisoning

Imagine the title dripping so much sarcasm over your screens that you’ll have to replace them. No, really, do that. And then add another two or three gallons of it.

I’d organised a Pathfinder session for Saturday (probably the second-most awesome iteration of the D&D ruleset), which I was particularly stoked about because I’d finally get to play my early-entry Mystic Theurge (the penultimate satisfaction of my spellcaster fetish).

One of my friends suggested that we also have a barbecue, since it promised to be a nice day and all. P&P and Barbecue? Count me in😉

Turns out I should’ve stayed away. Or at least not partaken of the Barbecue. I don’t know which item it was which caused it, but I came down with an acute case of food poisoning which ruined the rest of the evening for everyone involved (and our GM wasn’t exactly feeling very swell, either). By the time I got home, I could barely walk straight.

By midnight, I’d dropped two kilogram by means which I am not going to describe here. Use your imagination. By ten o’clock in the morning, I’d dropped a good total of five kilogram. I’ve developed a fever and a monstrous headache that gets only worse if I close my eyes. You heard that right. I can’t even close my eyes without pain. Can’t keep them fully open, either, I have to keep them half-open or it’s just pain.

It took me a good half-hour just to write this little post. And I’d been planning to write all day, today, as I didn’t have any other commitments.

Welcome to the wonderful World of Food Poisoning I guess.

If there’s any lesson that can be learned of this, I guess, is that you shouldn’t eat sausages or steaks which you or a butcher you trust prepared themselves. Way more expensive, perhaps, but ultimately way less painful.

Oh God does this hurt. I can’t even feel my legs properly.

Stay the hell away from supermarket meat products. Seriously.



29 thoughts on “The wonderful World of Food Poisoning

  1. I know how bad food posioning can be. Not that I have ever had it that bad. Don’t worry, I’m still happy to wait another month if need be.

    Also first!

  2. In case anybody is wondering, we got a Brennus RPG game set up in the forum. The gaming session will be each Wednesday at 3pm at 0 hour universal time zone. I’m the GM and we have a couple of other players.

    The setting is an isolated Alaskan town with a local God-Tier supervillain as the only metahuman in town as he killed the others. But a few new local manifestation have caused a bit of turmoil and a member of the United Heroes has been sent to investigate.

    New players are welcome, but we won’t be changing the time of the gaming session or other out of game stuff to accommodate new players now we got them sorted out.

    • if you have questions about how UH procedures or stuff like that would work, feel free to email me and ask. I’ll do my best to help (so long as we stay out of spoiler territory)

      • Since our game is set in Alaska and the closest UH office is in Anchorage, Mandragons and I were wondering what the heroes there consisted out. Such as how many and what sort of powers they have and the more notable heroes there. I would also find it helpful you could say how the UH sets up a new office. The town our characters are in doesn’t currently have one and Mandragons’ character is probably going to try and set one up using all of the local metahumans that have recently manifested.

      • Not UH related but I’ve go a questions. In the prologue Basil mention that he did tests to make sure that he was a Gadgeteer and not a Contriver. What are these tests exactly? Since my character is a science based Contriver he’d probably try them (and reject the results afterward).

      • There are multiple tests. The most basic ones are comparing everything you know about the workings of your gadget to current scientific theory. Normally, you need an actual scientist/engineer for that, but Basil was good enough to do it himself (though, of course, doing the tests on your own is not the smartest thing you can do). Whether you do it yourself or with help, it’s slow, takes a long time, and can be endlessly frustrating.

        another test is to test performance under differing circumstances. A gadget flamethrower will fire the same way when fired while angry or while happy. A contrived one will almost certainly show different effects.

        Also, whether or not others can use your creations is a big indicator (Basil let his friends use small, simple gadgets without them noticing), as most contrivers can only make personal stuff, or at least items that only work well for them.

        Obviously, a contriver is going to come up with a justification for all this.

        there’s lots of other small and big tests, but most are only available when you have access to professional testers

      • Oh that’s interresting, I hadn’t realized the Contriver’s emotions could have an impact on his creations efficiency. Also good to know about contrivances being less reliable for someone who isn’t their creator.

      • just keep in mind that, unlike a gadgeteer, a contriver isn’t actually creating any kind of item with its own effects. they are simply “outsourcing” the expression of their own power.

      • If a Contriver is proven wrong there is a 24% chance that he’ll lose his power but gain another powerset. Is the new powerset the power they were previously expressing through their contrivances or something else entirely?
        Like for example Hemogoblin was able to create goblins throught vats and use contrivances on other’s biology (Prisca life support, the modifications on his henchmens). If he’d been proven wrong (and been part of these 24% percent) he’d found out that he was really a spawner with a secondary power to manipulate the biology of others?

      • first, those 24% are just a rough estimate. there are no hard and fast numbers.

        and no, not necessarily. mechanically, as applies to the RP, work out a new power for the character. same theme as before, but the power level might be entirely different

      • scratch that previous comment. let me give you an updated example:

        tenant connects to a human. human gets the power to create “tachyon manipulation technology”, which allows him to distort time. tenant has a “time” theme, which it brings into the mix.

        contriver accepts that he is deluded, is lucky enough to retain powers. now he could get:

        – the create a single area of frozen time within his sight
        – a gadgeteering ability, creating gadgets with running clocks that break down once their “lifetime” is used up
        – the ability to slow time in a bubble around himself
        – the ability to teleport instantly to any location he could reach within X amount of time
        – the ability to move anything he sees to the location and state it was in 10 seconds ago (including himself), or to the location and state they are most likely to be in 10 seconds from now (can’t kill this way), or to freeze them for 10 seconds, or to stop time for everyone but himself for 10 seconds
        – the ability to predict the future and calculate the past within X amount of time

        does that help?

      • Two little questions, these are the last I promise.

        1. If a Contriver has other power unrelated to his Contriving and admit he’s delusionnal, should these powers also be replaced by the new powerset or would they stay the same?

        2. Some Dreams and Nightmare are more tied to specific powers, in the event of a change of powerset should they be kept and adapted within the new powerset or rerolled?

      • 1. work from scratch

        2. keep the D&N, but don#t get too hung up on them. making a fun power is more important than sticking religiously to the written word. D&N are more an approximation of influences, anyway, something to allow more differentiation in the RP. They are not, as such, a real part of the in-universe manifestations

  3. I swear, Tieshaunn! I’m making you live in a freaking bubble for the next few years, only eating greens and vitamin supplements. No more fuuucckkiiing injuries.

    [Totally kidding about that. I hope you feel better, live with a greenhelm diet…]

  4. My goodness, your luck has been horrifying as of late, first all that work that had you stressed as hell and now food poisoning?
    I don’t believe I’ve had the displeasure yet and I hope I’ve never do, but for what it’s worth, I hope you get better soon and that NOTHING afflicts you for a while

  5. I’d have gone to the hospital. That level of fluid loss can be very very bad for you.

    …Second most awesome iteration? What’s the first?

    • I once played a human Lich mystic theurge engaged to an elven priestess of the goddess of love, and his phylactery was the engagement ring he gave her.

      during the finale of the campaign, he managed to contribute to the destruction of a barbarian army lead by three balors, then killed an epic-level half-demon sorceress by opening a gate to the elemental plane of magma and dropping it on her head.

      And he was level 18 at the time.

      • I once deconstructed a kingdom in an afternoon with my (evil) wizard. Earthquakes until the entire castle was in pieces half a mile below ground level. Killed the entire force of paladins single handed by drowning them in mud (rock to mud spammed). They were level 20. There was a hundred of them. They really shouldn’t have been in heavy armour. Heh.

        I was level 19 at the time. I feel the GM learnt something from the experience.

      • Ah, a role-play bragging thread!

        My most impressive moment in a campaign was to nearly one-shot the final boss (lvl 18 half dragon), then disintegrate his father, (a huge blue dragon). I was level 11. Copious amounts of luck were involved.

        After the fight, the DM said that the party was so overpowered that he didn’t even care how high of CRs he threw at us. And it was the last fight, so it would still be okay if the party got curbstomped.

      • We should probably stop the bragging before it gets out of hand.😄 That said, if anyone has bragging points from Brennus RP, feel it’s appropriate here.

        …Still, good job😀

  6. > You heard that right. I can’t even close my eyes without pain.

    I’ll come by with some Beethoven and appropriate movies then. It’s really helpful that you must keep your eyes open.

    Do get well, last time I got food poisoning it was really bothersome and painful, and I’m sorry you have to go through the experience too.

  7. On some level I find this ironic. For the past few years I’ve worked in Food Safety, so it was my job to make sure that this didn’t happen on an industrial scale. And then when I’m out of work for a while, Tieshaunn gets taken down by food poisoning.

    All that being said, I know full well, that I had nothing to do with what happened. Virtue of living on another continent.

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